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[23 Dec 2006|02:13pm] |
Sometimes I like to re-visit old journals. Just to see if anyone didn't get the memo that I gave it up a while ago.
If you are one of these people, please add ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) phase384 and delete this one.
That is all.
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| PS. |
[06 Oct 2006|02:34pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
And you can delete this journal from your list (and any other old journals of mine you may have on your friendslist) as I won't be updating any of them anymore.
Again, the new one is phase384.
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| As is my custom... |
[05 Oct 2006|11:05am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
I've outgrown my use for this LJ.
NEW LJ : phase384
ADD IT.
or don't. either way, it's been a pleasure.
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| All I'm Saying Pretty Baby. . . |
[03 Oct 2006|05:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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perfect |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Pixies - Vamos |
] |
I've been an absentee journalist for a while now. I'll try to get back in the swing of things soon. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, though. I've just been enjoying life way too much, sans the little annoyances ie. school, driving in traffic, being broke. Still, life has never smiled on me so fucking much in my entire life. I still don't have a job and I have a feeling the Village Green job isn't going to happen (they haven't called.. I called Thursday and they said they'd call but it's Tuesday now so...). Gotta get to looking tomorrow maybe. I got $50 today for some drug related research study today though (and if you want $50 for asking a few simple questions: ASK ME HOW!). Family life has been interesting. They now really recognize that I am a smoker and a drinker and have basically accepted these as facts. Guess this is what growing up is? Not having to hide who you reall are so damn much. It's relieving. I can't be blatant about it or anything, but it's not as huge a taboo anymore. And furthermore, yesterday afternoon I told them about my relationship with Tony. How we've been together some time now and that he'd like to meet them formally and how i've been staying at his place most every night. Well, I told my mom. Not sure if my dad is aware yet, but we'll see. One thing at a time. It was a good talk with my mom though. And then of course, the greatest thing of all. The realization of being truly in fucking love. I'm insane for this man. I've never felt more alive in my life and it's beautiful. And of course, best part, he loves me just as much. I've never felt so happy to hear those words from anyone's mouth as I do now hearing it from him. It's... crazy really. Had you told me a month ago this is how things would turn out, I wouldn't have believe it. But it's fucking true. And we're happy. And this is it, really. The beginning of something amazing I can seriousely hope will never end. I've never felt more complete.
So really, it's been good reasons for my absence. And you all don't want to hear me constantly bitch and moan when I can just randomly post here and there and spread good news, yes?
Mhm.
Asides from all that, i'll be in DC/NYC in a few weeks. Also, i'm hoping to hit up Halloween Horror Nights before the month ends. And well, need to figure out Halloween plans. So all in all, things are.. well. They're perfect.
And that's all you need to know.
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| ATTN: Gilmore Girls Fans!!! |
[26 Sep 2006|09:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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ecstatic |
] |
Was tonight's episode not just the most fucking AMAZING episode since Season's 5's season finale?!?!???! HOLY SHIT!! Just too good for words. Someone want to have a GG viewing party every Tuesday from now on? Eh eh eh eh ehhh?
I'm ecstatic. So, so good.
That's all I have to say. That, and i'm going to end up hating Luke.
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| Everything In It's Right Place |
[21 Sep 2006|11:41am] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
A real update soon. Before I go to Orlando for the weekend. For now, let's just say things are amazing and I am insanely happy.
The End.
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| I am not in my own house. I am not in my own bed. |
[16 Sep 2006|05:16pm] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
] |
| [ |
music |
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what a difference a day makes stuck in my head |
] |
God... I don't even know where to begin. It's been a helluva couple of months? Years? Days? Definitely hours, anyhow. Funny the way things turn out. And maybe it does go to show that patience is key to a lot of things in life. Just wait, hope for the best. What's the use in trying so hard to control things that you can't? Oh, man but am I happy. True, this now means a lot of other different things. And these things I will certainly deal with when the right time comes along. But for now, I won't. Because there is nothing nicer in this world than to revel in the overwhelming feeling of joy. Things are finally on an upswing again, and let's just hope this one lasts a little longer than the last one. I look behind me right now and can see so much raw talent and potential and a fucking beautiful soul, I tell you. I see it. Right now. Seeing. This is amazing. I must be dreaming, but if I am please don't let me wake up. Let me lie down for the heaviest of sleeps, to continue to smile for all kinds of good reasons. I'm goofy, i'm giddy, i'm goddamn retarded right now and if I don't make any sense, it's probably beacuse I never make any sense at all. It's just.. right. And this is just right now. And right now could not be made (to feel) any better.
Oh, what a difference a day makes...
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| I almost forgot it was twilight. |
[15 Sep 2006|04:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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rejuvenated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Elliott Smith - Some (Rock) Song |
] |
Weird. And then today happens.
I got a job.
I got my car towed.
I came to new conclusions.
I'll change my mind tomorrow.
I have a stomach ache.
I've got to get to bed.
I'll stop being vague when I get the motivation to write more.
For now, this is all you get.
Can't say life hasn't been kind of fun and exciting lately though. I think the mopeiness is finally beginning to wear off. Thank the fucking gods. Guess i'll stop trying to learn how to tie a noose and get better at tying loose ends instead.
Let's get this show on the road.
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| There's always tomorrow. |
[02 Sep 2006|02:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
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watching Bedazzled |
] |
What a day. What a night. It's only just begun.
Let's see where this takes us. Patience is a virtue. How many times have I said that? Ahhhh. Life. Fuckin crazy.
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| General PreBirthday Announcement |
[28 Aug 2006|04:03pm] |
kids... there will be plenty of shenanigans going on starting wednesday (for germans birthday) and this weekend (for his and mine) but i'm wondering. my actual birthday is on tuesday (or monday night 2am technically). what should i do?
monday i'm hoping for sunny weather and an early morning beach trip but the rest of that day is free and clear.
tuesday though... i'm sure there'll be some kind of family dinner, but then what? what goes down on tuesday night nowadays? i'm thinking of keeping it local since most people have jobs and such to get back to wednesday morning. but i expect to see as many of you as possible that night. (i'm especially talking to you, you top 20 bastards!!) no, but really. i want everyone right there with me for lots of public debauchery. it won't be a successful night until one of us gets arrested and all of us get laid! this is the mission, if you choose to accept.
ps. i'm wasting time before i have to venture to ...ugh... class. :[
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| It's pleasing and freezing. |
[25 Aug 2006|10:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungover... as usual |
] |
| [ |
music |
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E. Smith |
] |
Finally Friday! What a night... feeling so incredibly disillusioned in one part and in another, satisfied and optimistic. Make sense? Thought not. The hangover isn't helping much, either.
Good news though, however off topic:
Morning-after pill gets FDA approval!!!
Let's hope it lasts.
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| Dear Livejournal... |
[22 Aug 2006|10:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
I am beginning work on a short film. Which is the precursor to a much bigger project. I might need some help, i'll let you all know.
Also, I really need to start carrying my camera everywhere again. And I need to buy some stuff (film -color, b&w, polaroid-, a small tripod -tabletop kind-, maybe some lamps, uv filter, tape recorder, dv tapes). Methinks I should have a fundraiser? Any ideas?
I'm wiped out on very little sleep so i'll be taking a nap now.
I still don't know what to do about school, yet it's all to be decided by tomorrow.
My procrastination will be the end of me.
PS. Who here is not camera shy?
PSS. Encourage me. I'm lazy.
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| I am un chien andalusia. |
[15 Aug 2006|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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optimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Pixies - Debaser |
] |
August 30 - German's birthday
August 31 - Counting Crows/Goo Goo Dolls show @ Sound Advice
September 1 - parents leave town again!!!
September 5 - my fucking second 21st birthday (i age no more)
September 8 - Mellowdrone in Athens, GA
September 23 - An Afternoon with Kevin Smith in Orlando (possible themeparkage?)
October 14 - Ale's birthday
October 18 - hitting up Washington DC!
October 21 - bussing it to NYC!
October 31 - HALLOWEEN!! (still don't know what costume idea to go with)
November 11 - BANG! Music Festival
Yeah, shit's looking up. Fuck being mopey and drowning sorrow in too quickly gone beer bottles. I'll find no answers in wondering the "what ifs" and "if onlys". Things are definitely going to get better.
...Now if only I could get a fucking job.
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| Addendum. |
[15 Aug 2006|12:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
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caffeineated! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the mp3 Dylan posted earlier |
] |
I just got back from driving my friend/ex Jenn (aka J Lowe) back and forth from the Grove to Kendall and back after many cigarettes and the wrong cup of coffee, mostly discussing her high possibility of going to med school in the Dominican Republic in just 2 weeks time. Tired, and i'd like to write more but then I know i've got to be up early. Need to clean the car, need to drive Tony to work, need to take my mom to the dentist, need to figure out this school bullshit. Have I mentioned that i'm trying to decide whether or not to get my AA at Dade now or just go there for a semester and figure things out later? Yeah, i'm really just not sure anymore (not that I ever was or am). Getting my AA would mean I could get into just about any school much easier than transferring out of FIU. But i'm not sure if that means I would lose a big chunk of the credits i've already taken there. Defuckingcisions, I tell you. Tomorrow I get to try to not die while waiting at MDC's advising center to ask them all these questions. I should probably write them down so I don't end up forgetting and having to wait through another 5 hour line.
School. It's going to be nice the day I can finally not have to worry about it. Although it's unfortunate that due to my fuck ups, i'll probably keep having to worry about it for a while.
There's been other things going on I guess. Not really sure what to make of anything, so i've just been kind of leaving it all to chance. I can't control everything, that's for damn sure. I've just been trying to keep busy helping everyone else with their shit for now. Seems easier, and somewhat more fulfilling than sitting on my ass getting trashed and crying over something that is simply not worth it.
It just hit me that the reason i'm typing ridiculousely fast and that I probably won't be able to sleep is the tall iced double espresso shot cafe mocha that's still running through my goddamn system. A few weeks ago this would have not been a problem as I was drinking 2-3 cups of coffee every morning before work. However, i've been on a slight coffee hiatus and the caffiene has me ready to run a marathon. For fucks' sake, why can't I feel inspired enough to write something decent with all this energy coursing through me?
Everything is so uncertain. I'm obscenely out of money, but have some ideas on raising some for now. Possibly buisnes ventures and ideas for short part time jobs til after October. The way I see it, i'm supposed to hit up DC and NYC by then so I should have enough money to get me around while i'm there. I've got to do some serious thinking during the trip because maybe ... maybe if I find a school I can see myself at (in NY, not DC), I can try shooting for a transfer. And then maybe I can somehow swindle the government into giving me money again.
If not, well.. who knows. I can always write a book about being a college fuck up and losing my loans and finaid and trying to "find myself" or whatever other bullshit it is people are trying to do at this age. Taking up too many vices and not having the money to support said vices, seeing some people succeed and helping out the ones who need it, eating shit and then being too busy, watching the sun rise and set in the same day until you forget your name or how the hell you got to be where you are. That's the gist of it. Everything else is filler anyway, isn't it?
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| I want pizza! |
[11 Aug 2006|02:55am] |
I made an easy $20 tonight. And some bizarro acquaintances.
Life is... strange. Fuck everything when you've got all of this.
This. Shit. Yes.
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[08 Aug 2006|12:28pm] |
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Let's see how far I get today.
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| My heart was going boom boom, boom.... |
[05 Aug 2006|05:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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it's going to get better |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Peter Gabriel - Solsbury Hill |
] |
Son, he said, grab your things, Ive come to take you home.
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| Looking on the bright side. |
[03 Aug 2006|02:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
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still very shitty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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still Cat Power |
] |
At least I finally found my usb cable. So long, Doris Day.
My brain feels like it's being constantly run over by a 50 ton truck and i've never smoked so many ciggarettes in my entire life. Tomorrow is another day.
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| I normally hate being so cryptic but... |
[02 Aug 2006|02:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Elliott Smith - Somebody The I Used To Know |
] |
the soundtracks to our lives sometimes just fit in much too perfectly.
I had tender feelings that you made hard,
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred.
So when I go home, I'll be happy to go -
You're just somebody that I used to know.
You don't need my help anymore,
It's all now to you, there ain't no before,
Now that you're big enough to run your own show,
You're just somebody that I used to know.
I watched you deal in a dying day,
And throw a living past away,
So you can be sure that you're in control,
You're just somebody that I used to know.
I know you don't think you did me wrong,
And I can't stay this mad for long,
Keeping ahold of what you just let go -
You're just somebody that I used to know.
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| In case you were wondering.... |
[27 Jul 2006|10:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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uncomfortable |
] |
I'm alive.
Work is annoying.
Coffee is my new best friend (again).
The sun is definitely not.
Things are good.
Only 3 weeks left and i'm procrastinating.
I think i'm pretending like it's not going to happen.
And if I keep acting this way, it won't.
Bahhh... bad back.
Time to go make more cash.
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